All Potter fans know the story: Harry glimpses Snape’s “Worst Memory” in fifth year and discovers that his father was not the great guy that any orphaned child would prefer to envision. His dad was a horrible bully who tormented fellow classmates and had a towering ego to match. When Harry asks his father’s two best friends from childhood—Sirius Black and Remus Lupin—about said memory, they mollify him by saying that James was just a dumb kid at that point in time, and that he got better because he wanted Harry’s mother to fall for him. As romances go, it’s not exactly an uplifting story.
But if we track the little we know about James Potter’s development, it seems likely that someone else was at the center of his turnaround. After all, it wasn’t Lily Evans who ran away from home and straight to the Potters’ one night….
Now, before we even get into this—there are plenty of fans who prefer to think that James Potter didn’t really change at all as he got older. And it’s understandable that his recalibration might be hard to buy because what he does to Snape in that memory is very hard to swallow. The idea that a teenager who acts in such a callous manner is capable of becoming a decent person is at odds with much of what we’re told socially. The going wisdom is generally—bad kids stay bad, good kids become useful adults. “Don’t make friends with boys like Billy, or you’ll come to a nasty end” and the like. What paves the way toward emotional development in young people? Well, at this point, we’re pretty sure that the major contributor to kindness in kids is teaching them empathy. The more we can relate to someone, the kinder we’re likely to be to them.
We know James Potter was not entirely lacking in empathy as a boy, and we know that because of his desire to help Remus Lupin (who is a werewolf) deal with full moons. Sure, there was an element of rule-breaking to it—creating the Marauder’s Map, becoming illegal Animagi—but at the end of the day, simple rule-breaking and rebellion could have been achieved even if he hadn’t been friends with a werewolf. So James cared about his friend Remus, and was therefore capable of caring about others. With that in mind, it was not impossible (or even improbable) that James Potter would eventually cultivate enough empathy to become a pretty good dude. I’m putting it lightly here because Rowling as an author never puts stock in character absolutes; there is practically no one in the Potter series who is purely good or evil, no matter how far they tip the scale in one direction or another. So James Potter didn’t become a saint—he became a nice man with blind spots, a kind person who was prone to bouts of ego and petulance because he’s human and we’re never angelic all the time.
Why am I adamant about this? Because there is no point in making an issue of James’ development if it never truly happened, and the books do make issue of it. In addition, James Potter manages to gain the affections of Lily Evans, and she is as close to sainthood as the Potter canon allows mere mortals to get. The sparkling, sharp, talented, lovely Lily Evans didn’t get duped into liking this guy. He had to earn her affection by proving his merit.
That said, the whole “he got nice to make Awesome Lady fall in love with him” is rarely a storyline that rings true… probably because it sounds like a bad rom-com plot. Perhaps James made more of an effort for Lily’s sake, but a remarkable about-face like his requires substantial and deeply personal motivation. James Potter may know Lily Evans, but they don’t seem particularly close at the point where he initially tries to win her affections. It is far more likely that he would change for the sake of someone or something else, and that his actions were simply misinterpreted. Remember who tells Harry that James got it together to become a more suitable prospect to Ms. Evans—his two closest friends. It’s relevant that this is secondhand information, not the sort given to us by the narrative. It means that Sirius and Remus might have it slanted.
Then what caused this massive transformation? Theory Time! I’m going to put forth a timeline below to put some things in perspective….
- First Year at Hogwarts: The Marauders start school, along with Lily and Snape.
- Between First and Second Year at Hogwarts: James, Sirius, and Peter figure out that Remus is a werewolf. They start putting in work to become Animagi.
- Fifth Year: The Marauders succeed in becoming Animagi and start accompanying Remus on full moon jaunts. Sirius pulls a “prank” on Snape, sending him into the Whomping Willow to encounter Remus in werewolf form. James hears about what Sirius has done and goes after Snape, pulling him out of harm’s way.*
- End of Fifth Year: (post-exams) What is referred to as “Snape’s Worst Memory”—James and Sirius brutally harass Snape in front of other students. Snape calls Lily a Mudblood, Lily tells James that she would never date him because he’s an egotistical jerk. Later, Snape tries to apologize for calling Lily a Mudblood, but she’s not interested; she ends their friendship due to his association with Death Eaters.
- Summer Between Fifth and Sixth Year: Sirius runs away to the Potters, leaving his family behind.**
- Seventh Year: James becomes Head Boy and seems nice enough now for Lily to start dating him.
*Before Deathly Hallows was released, it was widely assumed by fandom that the “Willow Incident” took place in Sixth Year rather than Fifth. (It was already known that it took place when Sirius was sixteen, which meant that it could have been either year.) It’s eventual placement before “Snape’s Worst Memory” is incredibly awkward, if only because it seems unlikely that James could get away with abusing Snape publicly mere months after he was almost killed due to his group of friends and their activities. In addition, there are errors in the text regarding the memory; it is stated twice (in the narrative and in dialogue) that James is fifteen during the bullying incident, when he should be sixteen—his birthday is on March 27, 1960 and Snape’s Worst Memory occurred in June of 1976.
**This is conjecture on my part. We know that Sirius ran away from his family when he was about sixteen, putting this event during a holiday between Fifth and Sixth Year. It seems likely to me that it would occur during a summer break, as that allows enough time for Sirius’ issues with his family to come to a head.
At first glance, it’s not surprising that someone would assume James changed for Lily. The progression looks simple; James straightened up his act during Sixth Year, after Lily told him that he was disgusting and conceited. By Seventh Year, he’s emerged as dating material. But here’s the thing—there was someone else in James’ life who clearly demanded a lot of his time and attention, and that person was in the process of a major upheaval right around the time that James decided to make these broad changes. It was Sirius.
So let’s look at that timeline again. In Fifth Year, Sirius decides to play a “prank” on Snape, telling him to head down into the Whomping Willow to find out where Remus has been disappearing off to every month. This little joke could have easily cost Snape his life. James recognizes this, and stops Snape before he is hurt. Dumbledore swears Snape to secrecy about Remus’ condition, but it’s likely that the Marauders are worried about whether or not he’ll keep his promise. (Which makes sense, given that he apparently has spouted the werewolf “theory” to Lily following the incident.) More to the point, James Potter’s best friend almost got another one of their friends to unknowingly commit murder, and thought of that as a prank. Regardless of how much James hated Snape, that had to have been a disturbing turn to him, especially given the damage it would have done to Remus. (James clearly feels an amount of responsibility for Remus given their activities as students and his choice to support Remus financially once they’re out of school.)
Snape’s Worst Memory occurs for a very specific reason—James doesn’t start antagonizing Snape until Sirius says that he’s bored. He’s pleased enough to get Lily’s attention over it, but the initial impulse is to keep his best friend busy. Which means that keeping Sirius occupied is also something that James feels responsible for. Aside from the fact that James and Severus are mortal enemies, might there be an additional reason why James thinks it’s so important to distract Sirius Black from boredom?
Well, their tests are over. Which means that in a few days time, Sirius will be going home to Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
Presuming that the series of events is (and we have no canonical guarantee of this)—Whomping Willow Incident, Snape’s Worst Memory, Sirius runs away from home—we’ve got a pretty clear arc of how Sirius’ home life affected his overall state. And seeing as James Potter is Sirius Black’s very best friend in the whole wide world, it’s likely that he had some idea of how bad it was getting. But James isn’t emotionally mature enough yet to realize that distracting Sirius by abusing their classmate isn’t a helpful way of bucking up a friend right before he goes home to his own abusive situation.
Soon after, Sirius runs away from home and takes refuge with James and his family. While the Potters may have spoiled their only son rotten, we know from Sirius that they were kind and supportive of his own plight in a way that was ultimately beneficial; he was able to get on his feet after staying with them for some time, and they let him know that he was always welcome in their home for supper. James would have seen how his parents reacted to Sirius’ choices, the way they protected him and provided the net that he required. And just perhaps, James might have realized that he needed to be that sort of person for Sirius, too. It might not seem like a large event for the attention it gets in the narrative, but the choice to separate from one’s family is a traumatic thing. Having a close friend who made such a decision would be a sobering event for anyone. In fact, it might make someone who has an untold amount of privilege consider what life would be like without it.
The first war against Voldemort was getting worse every day while the Marauders were at school, and now James comes into hard contact with the reality of that world; Sirius can’t abide his abusive family and what they stand for; Remus will probably be unable to find a job after they graduate in the current climate; who knows what could happen to Peter, who’s always looking to his friends for protection. And then there’s the girl he fancies, who happens to be exactly what Voldemort is railing against—Muggle-born wizards. If James is going to be any use to anyone, he has to step up and do it fast.
Sixth Year is when James Potter gets it together. And because Lily finally notices him in Seventh Year and starts dating him, his friends assume she must be the reason. Oh look, James got his act straight and the girl of his dreams finally deems him worthwhile. That must be why he worked so hard last year. It makes sense to them, and prevents James from having to admit what really turned his head—the sudden understanding that his friends were going to need him, and soon. A revelation that began because Sirius Black ran away from home, and James came to understand the damage done by his family. He had a moment to reflect and see just how lucky he was.
Of course, this is entirely speculation. But the cause-and-effect here have a drive and a causality that come from a real emotional place, instead of this muddy I-got-better-to-impress-a-girl thing. That would be fine if the change had been slight, but for all the reader is led to believe, this is the point where James Potter decides to become a more compassionate, mature human being. And doing that for a potential date—since he’s certainly not guaranteed one just by becoming a nicer guy—doesn’t seem like enough of a reason.
But changing for a friend who is practically family? That sounds about right.
Emmet Asher-Perrin probably spends too much time coming up with background for the Marauders. You can bug her on Twitter and Tumblr, and read more of her work here and elsewhere.
Briiliant!
I wouldn’t be surprised if this turns out to be what really happened when the Pottermore website gets around to this part of the books.
This post includes one of my biggest complaints from the Harry Potter movies (although it is nothing that Emily discussed in her article itself). The actors who play James and Lilly are about 10 years to old. When the series started (not including the prologue), Harry’s parents had been dead about 10 years. By the 3rd year, we meet two of James’ and Lilly’s friends (Remus and Sirius): who would have been the same age James and Lilly had they lived. Yet the images we see of James and Lilly make them look the same age as their friends in the present day.
Thanks for reading my musings.
AndrewHB
@2 AndrewHB:
Although the actors’ ages are all over the map, I think the movies are generally trying to portray the adult James and Lily in their early 30s (the actress was 33 in the first film) so when we meet Sirius and Lupin in the third film, they are shown in their early 40s. So that part’s actually fine–sort of. It gets complicated by Snape, who–as portrayed by Alan Rickman–is a decade older than Sirius and Lupin, despite being in their same class year. And of course ALL of the adult actors in this set are too old compared to their book versions. In the flashbacks, Lily and James should be no more than 20 (which, granted, would probably have looked a little odd in the first movie–more like they were Harry’s babysitters than his parents) while Snape, Sirius, and Lupin should all be in their 30s during Harry’s time at Hogwarts.
I have a simpler answer: he just grew up. I was surprised by the increase in maturity in my classmates over time. By the time by ten year reunion came around, all but a handful had grown up into mature, kind adults (that handful sat together by themselves at the reunion). It seems to be pretty common, much more so than you think it will be when you’re actually in high school.
No one’s personality should be judged based on the worst 15 minutes of their life. More to the point teenagers do incredibly stupid things especially when in groups. I am a mental health professional and, I feel, a very empathetic person, yet at 14 I remember my best friend telling me that my sister (12) was quite annoying. I got off the school bus that day and shoved her forcefully onto the ground and laughed at her for no other reason. I have always silently and shamefully regretted that decision. Point being that adolescents are notoriously bad at thinking their decisions through (undeveloped frontal lobes) and are incredibly driven to impress and connect with their peer groups. I think James Potter’s about face had more to do with becoming more self aware than anything else.
I guess I agree then that he didn’t “change” for Lily.
Predictions based on the ambiguity of the Potterverse: If James Potter had lived, he would have been a pretty good husband and a pretty good dad, and he would have wondered why that guy who used to hang out with Lily all the time still hated his guts because it was all so long ago. Lots of perfectly nice people were horrible bullies when they were kids and don’t have a clue why the people who dreaded seeing them then might not want to reminisce with them now. It was just kid stuff, right? Four on one whenever we caught sight of him, forcible public stripping, a bit of attempted grievous bodily harm? Aw, we were just kids. No biggie. Let’s think about the happy times of childhood instead!
If Sirius Black had not ended up in Azkaban and the Potters had lived, sooner or later, but certainly by the time Harry was Hogwarts age, James and Lily would have had a serious talk with each other and then with Harry and Sirius, separately, about what is and is not okay for a boy Harry’s age to get into. The Dementors didn’t put in Sirius’s reckless streak, his casual cruelty, or any of his other nasty traits; they just stripped away the happiness that put a brake on his bad side. Now and then it would pop out.
I think a bigger issue for me is that a lot of people are jumping to conclusions based on the word of a single person, who is basically a Neo-Nazi who viciously hates James and his friends. And I don’t think Snape’s hatred of the Marauders is purely motivated by their bullying of him – the whole werewolf incident seems to have occurred exclusively because Snape was determined to ‘out’ Remus, it isn’t like he could have reasonably thought Remus was a serious threat to anyone given that nothing had happened in the previous five years.
teg
Something else that probably should be noted is that Snapes worst memory, while terrible, is also one sided. IT is never clear in the series if any of the memories we see are clouded by the person who is supplying them. In most of the situations it doesn’t matter, but because of the rivalry between James and Snape, it is possible that everything remembered may not be everything that happened.
There’s so much to unpack here it’s hard to know where to start…
First off, I agree wholeheartedly with Drew @5. I think we see this fairly often now with things on social media going viral. Someone does something stupid or mean or even evil, the Internet pounces on them, their families, and their employers, and they lose their jobs or some poor teenager ends up home alone under siege by loud, angry, protesters. Like the CFO who filmed himself lecturing a poor girl at the Chick FIl A drive-thru. Was he an asshole? Yes, absolutely. Should he have lost his job, his house, etc, over what is very possibly the worst, stupidest thing he’s ever done? I would say…probably not. I would hate to be judged by society over the worst things I’ve done. At times growing up, I bullied. But I was also bullied…a lot. I like to think of myself as fairly generous, but I’ve also been selfish. I like to think of myself as non-judgemental, but I’ve leaped to judged others on occasion. What I’m saying is: look at my best 15 minutes, I’m a saint. Look at my worst, and I’m an outcast. I would bet that almost everyone else is the same. Fortunately, we’re not famous, so we get away with it. Teenagers especially aren’t known for their ability to take the long view of their actions, and they can certainly make snap judgements that hurt others. Compare this to Herminone’s jinx. Lord help us from the self-righteous/bored actions of teenagers. And I say this with a 12 year old in the house…
Second, in regards to comments that the memory is from Snape’s point of view, I believe JK Rowling has stated, and is accepted as more fact than not among Harry Potter fans, that Pensieve memories are objective, and not impacted by the person’s biases. They can be changed by a powerful wizard, al a Slughorn,, but there would signs, and I don’t think that’s the case here anyway. That said, this is one memory. Of one incident. Of one day. Was this constant? Did Snape hex/jink the Marauders without warning? Along with my first point, without the context of the rest of their childhoods, it’s hard to pass absolute judgement on this one act on one day.
Third, I agree with the overall premise that James didn’t change fundamentally just for Lily. He grew up, and with growing up (hopefully) comes a bit of compassion for others. That said, it’s entirely possible his main reason for showing others how he was growing up and becoming more compassionate was because of Lily. After all, if a Nazi death camp guard can fall in love with a Jewish lady and help her sister from execution, surely it’s not beyond the realm of possibility for James to change, at least in outward appearance, to win Lily’s affections.
Finally, it’s entirely possible that James Potter went to his early grave as, still, an asshole to people who weren’t his friends or family. Wars aren’t fought by people who are good and pure. If they were, we wouldn’t need a law of armed conflict to govern what is, and isn’t, allowed in war. James surely wasn’t a pure-blood maniac like others, but just because a person’s not a racist, or sexist, or whatever, doesn’t make them nice, compassionate, or whatever, either, at least not all the time to everyone they meet.
James changed enough to win Lily, either by design, or just by growing up a bit. Who’s to say what he what have been like with an addition 10-15 years to raise Harry. He met his fate standing against Magic-Hitler, without a wand, protecting his family as best he could. I think that gives plenty of context to measure against his actions on Snape’s worst day.
Oh, one more thing…
As traumatic as this memory was for Harry, I think it served an important developmental function for him: it took his dad off a pedestal and took some pressure off of Harry to measure up a standard he couldn’t possibly meet.
What I mean is: my dad died when I was 7. Think back to when you were that young. Your dad (or parent, or parents) were probably “the best in the world” or “number one!”. And you meant it. And for me, for decades, really, I had an overly idealized picture in my head of my dad. I was fairly certain he gave the Sun permission to rise each morning, you know? And, he was just a guy. Just trying to make it like everyone else. Most people learn this as they grow up, and their relationship with their parents changes over time. I had to learn it from stories told by others, and it took a long time to sink in.
Now, picture Harry. Orphaned. Hearing for years that the his parents were awful and not to be spoken of, then learning from others that they were the best people ever! Which would you believe? He probably believed his parents could give Jesus lessons on forgiveness and Buddha lessons on how to be patient. And, they weren’t that perfect. Harry actually experienced it thru the Pensieve. Oh sure Lily comes off better, no doubt. But this memory gives Harry another data point to measure his parents, and they (especially James) weren’t perfection.
Now, fast forward two years in the story. Harry needs to get into Gringotts, and has a split second to decide whether to use the Imperius curse or not. It’s unforgiveable and evil. Could he do it if he was trying to live up to the pedestal he placed his Dad on? If he were caught/killed that day, Voldemort wins. Fortunately, he’d learned that he needn’t try to be perfect. He could do something most would consider crossing a line, and still be one of the “good guys”.
I’ve always looked on it more as James saw Snape as competition for Lily’s interest. His antagonizing Snape was done out of spite for the attention he was getting from Lily. That’s because James saw Snape as a threat and not as a friend, which in a sense was true despite Lily having clearly stuck Snape into the friend zone. As often happens to those who are stuck in there Snape chose the lesser of his three options, lashing out at her when he could have moved on while becoming good friends, or just moving on completely and forgetting about her. Regardless, James actions toward Snape were clearly to prove a point that he did not like Snape hanging around Lily. That would explain why James was viewed as a good person by everyone other than Snape since he only acted out against Snape. Lily’s disdain toward James’ actions was in relation to his treatment of her friend.
Wholeheartedly agree that James did not change to make Lily like him. Although much of the fandom seems to think that James was an asshole who only changed to impress a girl, I’m not convinced that was the point that Sirius and Remus were trying to make when they talked to Harry. They explain that James always made a fool of himself in front of Lily, that he stopped harrassing Snape in front of her, and when his head deflated a bit, Lily was willing to date him. None of that implies that the reason his head deflated was FOR Lily, only that gaining Lily’s affections were a result of his head deflating.
I really dislike the idea that the SWM occurs after James saves Snape, but I love your theory on how it shows James relationship to Sirius. Harry gets the idea that “Sirius was the only one that James would stop showing off for”, so it makes perfect sense that his major character development would be spurred by Sirius and the realization that the showing off and the bullying needed to stop.
It is so frustrating that people think James did not become more compassionate and mature, that he somehow duped Lily into falling for him. Lily is, “as close to Sainthood” as it gets, like you said Emily. She gave Snape many chances because they had been friends for so long, but she was too clever, too full of self-respect to continue in a relationship that had become toxic. Does anyone really believe that a girl who was willing to walk away from her best friend when she couldn’t explain his behavior away anymore would be duped into believing James had changed if he hadn’t? Would Dumbledore have made James Head Boy if he had still been a terrible bully? Would Dumbledore consider “you did no less than your father would have done” the highest praise he could give Harry? Would Hagrid describe James as one of the best people he ever knew? Would McGonagall look back at James with pride? James was no saint and certainly did not magically turn into a perfect human, but the general consensus of so many people that Harry and the readers trust definitely supports the fact that he did become better.
Plus, we must also consider that one of the most important reasons we keep calling Lily a saint is that we don’t really know all that much about her. What we do have are snippets that emphasize her positive qualities and that gives us an impression.
This is a very reasonable hypothesis. It also seems to indicate that Sirius had a real streak of cruelty. Arranging pranks which could prove fatal is pretty sirius business. Also, the Potter family is so nice (per all accounts), how could James help but be empathetic? He must have learned from them, which, to me, means that his cruelty to Snape was a disconnect from his true nature.
Since the Potters were only 21 when they died, what happened to their parents? They were probably born in the 1930s, which means that in the 1980s they would only have been around 50. Why did they die off so young?
And I STILL want to know what happened to the truly evil Umbridge. I do not think she was officially a death eater, but she was remarkably cruel and vicious. I want to know what happened to her after Voldemort’s death.
I was wondering the same thing that Frederick London brought up: What happened to James and Lily’s parents? Why weren’t they in Harry’s life at all? Surely all four grandparents hadn’t died by the time Harry was born or even by the time he was 12. Why weren’t they there to take care of him. Did Petunia never visit her parents? Surely, they weren’t as hateful as Lily’s sister.
I really hope someone comes up with a good story of why Snape was visiting the Potters when Lily was dying. Does that fit in anywhere at all?
(James clearly feels an amount of responsibility for Remus given their activities as students and his choice to support Remus financially once they’re out of school.)
Are you sure about this sentence above, Emily? or anyone.
I would love it if it was true. But, what I remember from a Q&A with JKR, is her saying that James helped Sirius financially after they left school. I don’t remember anything said about Remus.
I like your essay and I wish I had the time to comment further on it.
Whenever we get the full story on a character in Rowling’s books, I’ve always found that the details of who the person was and how they got to be that way feel right and “real.” James changing for Lily doesn’t feel real for me. Changes like that need to be from the inside to be permanent. I’m pretty sure that James did change and mature. I just don’t see any other way the story works.
From reader POV, I wish the worst memory happened after the prank, since that fits so well as the wake-up call James needed. As it is, I don’t know what the crucial event was.
I think James and Lily’s parents being dead fits more with where Rowling came from when she was writing. The books have a lot to do with the death of her mother. So, parents are just absent. Within the books, I understand James was born late in his parents’ lives (resulting in him being a bit spoiled). So, their deaths could have been natural.
Lily’s parents might have been killed or died under suspicious circumstances. There’s a war going on that targets Muggleborns, and families of Muggleborns could easily be caught in the crossfire. But, it seems something like that should have been brought up. Petunia’s hatred of magic and paranoia take on a whole new aspect if her parents were killed by Death Eaters, just to start with. So, I just have to assume their dead in non-Voldemort related ways.
This definitely articulated a lot of things I’ve always thought, but never really put into words. Although I’ve never really thought that James changed specifically to convince Lily to marry him (perhaps in my mind that didn’t give Lily quite enough credit) – but rather, after witnessing various events in his life, he changed, and Lily noticed that.
Honestly my biggest issue with the Lily/James relationship has always been more about Lily. I just can’t wrap my head around her marrying the guy who used to team up with at least 2 of his friends (although Peter was probably fairly useless) to regularly bully her “best friend.” Lily is, as the author of this article pointed out, basically treated like she was a saint by every character who ever talked about her in this series. But every single one of those sources is biased. Look at how everyone was always telling Harry what a great guy his dad was. Until we actually saw Snape’s worst memory, James was basically painted with that same saintly brush. No one wants to speak ill of the dead, and she gave her life to protect Harry, but every single person who has ever mentioned her was was a close friend. The only person who ever spoke negatively about Lily was Petunia and again,she is a very biased source. There’s never going to be any way to prove it but I’ve always felt Lily was not nearly so perfect as everyone acts like she was.
Unrelated note, I’ve always been extremely bothered that Sirius tried to kill Snape and seemed to suffer no consequences whatsoever and it appears that Snape was basically told to just keep his mouth shut. I don’t agree with a lot of Snape’s attitude but it’s very easy to understand how he ended up the way he was.
I don’t think James changed for anyone really. He may have matured a bit and quit hexing every other student within a 50 yard range, but he was still an arrogant , privileged prat. He got into a pissing contest with Vernon. He left his wife and child alone so he could have some fun. They were hiding from Voldemort at the time. I think the spoiled rich kid got his way in the end. It happens a lot in life. James got Lily and he continued to hex Snape behind her back. He clearly wasn’t that trustworthy. And people keep using his loyalty to his friends in order to boost his image. A lot of gang members value loyalty. Bullies protect/support their close friends. That’s nothing to brag about.. And he turned his back on Remus after they left Hogwarts. People began to believe that the werewolf was a spy. The Marauders were no exception. Face it, James loved Sirius and Sirius loved James. They had a huge bromance going. They never would have let Peter into their gang if not for Remus. And later on they abandoned Remus when the Order suspected him of being spy. But the James/ Sirius bond was forever. It’s because they were both spoiled, arrogant , unruly, gifted, sadistic bullies and rich. Birds of a feather tend to flock together. And it makes me think less of saint Lily. Just when you begin to root for the one girl that isn’t affected by a guy’s good looks, wealth and popularity she goes and marries him. They guy tortured her best friend for years for crying out loud. Lily begins to look like some shallow bint that was just playing hard to get. James changed my a** . He only got better at hiding his real nature. If she was dumb enough to fall for the oldest trick in the book maybe she wasn’t as intelligent as some people said.
One reason nobody ever mentions in these arguments is James’ parents. We know that they die sometime before Harry is born, maybe around 1979 (only a year after he left Hogwarts). So by his sixth year they’re quite old and he’s looking after them more that they’re looking after him. Add this to all the points you made, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he would man up.
Keep in mind the bullying isn’t Snape’s worst memory. It shocks Harry who as a victim himself is very anti bullying but to Snape who was locked into a war of so called pranks with the Marauder’s it was just business as usual.
The Worst Memory was losing Lily’s friendship something for which he has nobody but himself to blame and knows it.
Nothing James or Sirius could do would hurt as much as losing Lily.
Thank you princessroxana, that was my take on Snape’s memory as well.
And I would like to add, that we know from the books that the war against Voldemort started when those characters were 10 years old. Snape was someone that at least hung out with that crowd and was very into dark magic, something that identified him as the enemy to the Marauders that stood for a free and equal magical world. There is no way we can pretend that the war didn’t have an effect on those characters. James stood up to his friends, but humiliated those that had brought war into his world and that stand for a world order where muggleborns were less than everybody else. Snape was already in the KKK jr. club and Lily just refused to admit to it. She said that evening that she knew of him calling other muggleborns mudblood.
What I think is that after when James saved Snape(I belive it happens in their sixth year), he confronted Sirius, and it became a shouting match. Sirius says something along the lines – ‘Like you never did anything to Snape’ but regrets it immediately, but James realizes that in a way Sirius is right. He ponders over it, he comes to a conclusion that he has to stop being a bully. Pranks just for laughs are one thing, but singling out one guy and tormenting him is other. So he tries after that not to hurt anyone with his antics, and of course he becomes the head boy, and then Lily sees him helping first years to find their way around Hogwarts, cheering up a girl who is tormented by her classmates just because she is good in studies, and handing out punishments to the said classmates. Lily sees James as not an ‘Arrogant Toerag’ but a decent man trying to help others, all in between the regular pranking. So when he asks her out for a day in hogsmeade, she says yes, and we all know the rest.